Toilet Training is About More Than Just Child Readiness

Toilet training is one of the top five most common goals that parents have requested my assistance on. This is not surprising, as toilet training can be really hard! One of the first things I do when working with a family, is to assess toilet training readiness. We always do a thorough evaluation to ensure the child is displaying some of the signs of readiness that will ensure they are successful. However, we also take a close look at parent readiness. Whether or not a parent is ready for toilet training, is just as important as if a child is ready. However, it's often overlooked. Below, I have listed some factors to look at when determining if you as a parent are ready for toilet training.

• Do you have the time to commit to this process? Parents often have jam-packed schedules. Between work commitments, extra-curricular activities for your children, and attempting to maintain some semblance of a social life, it can be hard to add anything else into the mix. That being said, when you take on toilet training, it is imperative that you have at least a few uninterrupted solid chunks of time to devote to it. In most cases, it's unrealistic to completely clear your schedule for a week to devote to this, but you do need to have a bit of time. We generally recommend that you block off an entire weekend for the initial toilet-training process(if it's feasible). Long weekends can also be a great time to get started!

• Are you going on vacation any time soon? You want to wait until the toilet training skills are well established before requiring your child to try them out in an unfamiliar environment. When you are on vacation, there may be factors that could make it much harder for a newly potty trained child. Things like bathrooms that are not readily accessible, having to go to the toilet on an airplane, and just having a general disruption in the routine could make it hard for a child to maintain their new potty training skills. Also, who wants to be stressed about potty training when trying to enjoy a relaxing beach trip? If a vacation or trip is in the future, try to avoid potty training directly before if at all possible.

• Do you have a support system? Like I said before, toilet training can be hard! It can be very helpful to have another person around for moral support, and also as an extra set of hands. If you have another child in the house, definitely make sure there is someone available to help tend to their needs, as toilet training will probably require your undivided attention in the first few days. It's also helpful to have someone around to help throw a load of laundry in if you are focusing on your child who is trying to use the potty.

• Are you prepared to be consistent, even if it gets tough?  Speaking from my own experience, if your child doesn't pick up on toilet training right away, it can be tempting to throw in the towel and say that this just won't work. However, accidents will most likely happen and you will probably be doing quite a bit of laundry, but you need to be prepared to continue on. From the perspective of your child, they are learning many completely new skills (recognizing that they have to pee or poo, getting to the toilet on time, and actually going in the toilet) so it will most likely not be an overnight process. Toilet training is an on-going process that we need to support our child through. Remaining consistent with strategies is integral to helping your child understand that this is the new way of going to the potty.

• Do you have realistic expectations?  I always warn parents that some children don't potty train in a day or weekend (and some do). For some children, it can take weeks or a month until they fully "get it". Also, once your child is potty trained during the day, they most likely will still require a diaper or pull-up for sleep times. They may also require additional training to be able to use bathrooms in different environments like school, public washrooms, etc. Lastly, sometimes children may be fully potty trained for pee, but don't learn to have bowel movements in the potty until much later. I don't have this conversation to discourage or scare parents, but just to ensure that they understand that this will most likely be an on-going process that may require trouble-shooting along the way.

• Are you willing to reward your child for success? Toilet training is a huge under-taking for a child, so they may need some motivation to keep going. For a child, it is a lot easier to go to the bathroom in a diaper or pull-up, rather than use a potty.  When first toilet-training, using some form of motivating reward can help your child see that their hard work is "worth it".  It will also make them more likely to use the potty again in the future (this is called reinforcement). Prior to toilet training, we try to identify what your child will find to be most motivating to earn. Some children may need a treat, some may love stickers, and some may find applause/high fives/and praise motivating enough. It's important that a parent understands the importance of providing something (it doesn't have to be big) to acknowledge their child's success and help continue building the toilet training skills. As the child gets more comfortable, the reward can be gradually reduced.

These are just a few items that should be considered prior to getting started. As a parent, look honestly at your own readiness. If you are not ready right now, wait a few months until you are! There's no shame in that! Making sure that the parent and child are both ready is one of the best predictors of toilet training success.

If you have decided that you are ready to begin the process of toilet-training and would like some extra support, please contact us at: https://kidsfirstbehaviour.ca/contact-us